The first designer, Lindsay Lohan, from her line 6126, shocked the crowd when her model made a pathetic attempt to dance on a pole in the middle of a high fashion runway. It was a sad attempt to gain attention. Her design, almost indescribable, was a disgrace. The neon yellow cheetah print repulsed the audience enough to not notice the black pant with basic, hideous black heels. Overall this design was laughed off the stage and Lindsay left the show, her head hung low in shame.
Next in show, Toby Kieth, a newcomer to the fashion world, didn't fare much better. His new line was not received well at all and was panned by the fashionista elite.
Our next designer to show on the runway was a handsome man......er woMAN, Gordana Gehlhausen. She displayed a simple evening gown which was nice.....but Boring! She was quickly dismissed to move on with the show.
Giorgio Armani was next with a great sigh of relief from the crowd as they anticipated something spectacular from him. He displayed a lovely evening gown which was a nice change of pace for the show but falling way short to be the best.
With the smell of horse manure and coors light making it's way to the front Miley Cyrus stepped into the spotlight to announce her refusal of all models thinking she can model her self-titled line better than any inferior model could. As she struggled to walk in the metallic silver mini-dress she stumbled over her boxy silver shoes and fell flat on her ass to the amusement of the crowd. She was last seen sobbing and running out of the show back to the country.
Since Beyonce feels the need to be involved in any and everything, she was next to send a model down the runway from her personal line Dereon. Although critics panned the line for it's outrageous-nous she still sells high and has a good bid for tonight's show. But try as she might she must angrily and inevitably succumb to defeat.
Nearing the end of the show there are only two designers left. Alexander McQueen and his bold and controversial design was next. Going with a black and red print avantguard gown, the model goes down the runway ready to clear away any competition and the dust on the floor. However, McQueen was trying too hard for the edgy rock look and the horrible makeup was his major downfall.
By far the crowd pleaser for the evening was our last designer of the night. Roberto Cavalli showed us an elegant, light, gown which flowed down the runway with ease. The tight bodice of the dress went well the plush bottom and accessories matching. Topped off with exclusive Cavalli mary jane shoes, almost looking electric he stole the show with this gorgeous display of what design is supposed to be. How does he continue to achieve such perfection? With the ease and style that only a professional can master.
8 Lindsay Lohan (Ish) 1
7 Toby Keith (Jeff) 2
6 Gordana Gehlhausen (Lisa) 3
5 Giorgio Armani (Giordan) 4
4 Miley Cyrus (Devin) 6 (Including 1 bonus point for quad 4s)
3 Beyonce (Bobby) 6
2 Alexander McQueen (Chris) 8
1 Roberto Cavalli (Justin B) 11 (Including 1 bonus for Bobby's bounty)
This wraps up our fashion flush. I hope everyone has a safe, happy Thanksgiving and we'll all gather again in 2 weeks for another excursion into the world of fabrics, fashion and gays! Until then, may all your cards be live and your pots be monsters!
