Our first doll up to try and impress the judges was the gorgeous Tatianna. Feeling threatened by her beauty, the rest of the queens got together and sabotaged her runway. As she strutted her assets, Tyra jealously distracted the judges and the girls stabbed her in the back! Literally! Sadly the injured diva collapsed and had to make an early exit.
The next doll to work it was the outspoken and horse-voiced Raven. She brought confidence to the stage, but as the show continue; her confidence turned into an obnoxious mess. As she attempted to do a handstand, her tuck loosened and a possum was spotted in the woods. Disgusted by her attitude and repetitious moves, the judges appropriately asked her to sashay away!
Our third doll to bring her A-game also brought along a 2 piece and a biscuit. Donning an ill-fitting outfit, Mystique Summers Madison wobbled onto the stage. As she moved in sections toward the judges, grease began to cloud her vision and she tried to recover by doing yet another round of unimpressive and raggedy splits. She fortunately missed the stage, crashed through the floor and was never heard from again.
The next doll to try her hand sported hooker heels and make up only a trucker could match. Why miss Pandora Boxx of course! Working the stage for all she's worth! (Probably not that much judging from the outfit). To everybody's surprise, Carrot Top made a mad dash at the stage and ran off with miss Pandora!?
Our fifth doll to walk onto the stage was the pretty (but still man sounding), miss Tyra Sanchez. She tried to pull off a one-piece bathing suit, but her hot glue gun marks were ugly and evident. Her sorry excuse of an outfit not only was accentuating her hips, it had stains all over it! Clearly this was one dirty Sanchez that nobody liked, so the judges told the overconfident hussy to sashay away!
The next doll pounced onto the stage and immediately began serving the judges some Asian cousine! Is that Lil Kim-Chi? No, it's the beautiful Jujubee! She gave everybody a generous portion of Fish! And no, it wasn't trout. The judges were pleased with their meal, but Santino wanted more! He demanded a date with miss Jujubee in order for her to advance, but she wasn't having it. As she stormed off the stage, she shouted, "Fuck what ya heard!"
Our seventh doll came prepared with a trashy ensemble and frightful over-bite. At first she was confused with a drunk stripper, but it was actually miss Morgan McMichaels. Even before she could strut her stuff, Merle excused herself as she couldn't handle the UGLY anymore! In fact, everybody started to become nauseous; so she was quickly asked to not only sashay away, but to just flat out get the HELL out!
The final doll up to impress the judges bestowed grace, beauty, and a refreshing personality. She brought face! She brought glamour! Who else but the always dazzling and sensual miss Jessica Wild! All snatches puckered from jealousy and the judges stood up and unanimously cheered the fierce Latina on! Smashing the competition, miss Wild was crowned the next drag superstar and the audience found themselves saying...Bebe who?
Our race has come to the finish line and nobody left empty handed. Cans of extra GREASY shortening were awarded to all so that no snatch would ever go crusty again! Also in the audience cheering the girls on were Shangela, Sonique, Sahara Davenport, and Nicole Paige Brooks!
8. Tatianna (Bobby) 1
7. Raven (Jeff) 2
6. Mystique Summers Madison (Dustin) 3
5. Pandora Boxx (Chris) 4
4. Tyra Sanchez (Lisa) 5
3. Jujubee (Devin) 6
2. Morgan McMichaels (Justin) 9 (Including Chris's bounty point)
1. Jessica Wild (Ish) 10
Put some crisp in your COCK-A-DODLE-DOO! Until next we meet, may all your cards be live and your pots be monsters!
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